Today all of us at Variety Is the spice Of Life would like to wish the happiest of birthday’s to our Numer One officer, D’Nix B!!!!!!!!’ Employee of the month for the last eight September’s, D’Nix exemplifies the team spirit of VSL both on and off the field. Her coworkers describe D’Nix as “she has brownish hair,” “is she the one with the clogs,” and, “I don’t know her very well but she seems ethical” and even more such praise like such as this! Here at VSL we celebrate D’nix’s birthday with great aplomb and say, Happpy Birthday’s D’Niz!!!
For those of our listener’s who don’t know D’Nix’x, heres some context clues:
D’niz was born into a family of 7, (some adults, some young adults), in Witchita County, Florida. Her birth parent incubated her for eleven months and 3 months, a total of 3 years, and then D’Nix said “Hey, how about we try this whole breathing thing,” and she clawed her way out of the womb using the bird-like talons on her hands. D’niz and her birth parent, who’s name is called “MOM”, became very close in the ensuing years, and they are still in touch! D’Nix’s great skill at maintaining relationships like such as that relationship with “MOM” is just one of the many qualities that won her Employee Of The Month for eight consecutive Septembers. WOW!
D’Nix attended New York Nationally High School from 1997-present, where she is salutatorian (hopefully!). There, she made a lot of friend’s including the band StreetMeat Manny Pesto, which is a band that she loves for their silky smooth vocals and jazzy latin beets—cha ! cha! Yum! D’Nix loved the band so much that she Yokoed them in 1944, and married each of them until their respective deaths by natural causes. D’Nix’s undying (pun intended) loyalty to her lovers’ is just one more reason why we value her every year here at VSL.
In 1803, Thomas Jeffersonian travelled the long travel to France, where he struck up a bargain with one Neapolitan “Dynamite” Bonaparte. When he returned to the colonies, as the colonists called them, he had purchased almost 10 billion acres of land from the france! Little did he know, it was not France’s land to give and so france really got the better end of the bargain and a lot of people got scrooged. This is just one historical anecdote that D’Niz knows how to tell very well. If you see her in the street, VSL Staff recommends you follow this script:
“Hell D’nix, you’re hair is Brown happy birthday. Please now get out of the street and Tell me about that time Thomas Jeffersonian scrooged everyone!”
Its sure to launch riveting conversation, and, if I do say so myself! Now, D’Nix loves working at VSL, where she is compensated according to the legal requirements and loves to g-chat with her friends in the break room (her friends are in the break room, she is at her desk almost always which is why she is employee of the month last September). D’Nix’s responsibilities include overseeing the production of propaganda in you’re area, charming the corporate snakes, and practicing the guitar in her free time. She is probably single; that is to say, I don’t think she has a clone, but she is full of surprises so I wouldn’t be surprised if she did have a clone! We appreciate D’Nixs zest for pies, muffins, and cakes, if the recipe calls for it like maybe in an orange flavored cake or something.
All in all, your lucky its d’Nizs birthday and you would do well to tell her so! Give her a call and let her know how grateful you are for all the good work she does at 1-800-HOT-DICS.