Hola to soma(h)

It’s been a cloudy day in your area. First off, classes ended at Middlebury and all the students squeezed themselves out the doors into their respective cars back on the road. The road is a home for some, especially for some sorts of homeless people. But sometimes it is problematic.

Middlebury students gaze fondly back at their teammates and pears. Cause there is a corroboration at Middlebury that makes it a supreme community for studying and creating a primary (elite) society!

Now, here at VSL we are not elitists, of the typical kind. Elite things do appeal to us, of course, as they do to most people. Our community organizers keep updated on the status quo of bro and biddy state by reading repeatedly How to be Preppy. 1st edition, published 1956. (Better to stick to the traditional style, as we at VSL believe in a revulsion of modernization. Abstinence!!!!).

Other elite things we quite enjoy:

-Sitting on a boat that doesn’t have oars (oars are so not modern anymore!)

-Digging oil wells: Current update: Battell Beach has no oil stores

-Sitting in 1st class on trains and other vehicles (even if we don’t have a 1st class ticket!!)

-Purchasing watches that only lie above the 100,000 Frank mark. (We only buy Swiss watches, OBVIOUSLY).

-Using modern utilities, such as toilets(!) and automatic sinks.

-Buying stocks. (of various supplies—costco!)

-Turning our noses up at every 5th person we see. Sometimes you need people that don’t keep their noses down ALL the time. This is why there is a obesity epidemic. Everyone is always looking at the ground. We are all sometimes TOO humble!

-Lastly, buying only organic goods. Pesticides don’t taste good. Remember THAT!

Okay, now you know a bit more about our lifestyle in your area. Too much anonymity is bad—because too much of a good thing is also bad! Anonymity is thus a good thing.

The second thing you will learn from this local news is a Middlebury informed lesson on logic. The Greeks were responsible for most of logic. Not the current Greeks (no offense) but the Ancient Greeks. I’m sure you’ve all heard of Epicolipsis, who invented the idea that correlation doesn’t imply causation.

Here are some other interesting uses of logic, that we here at VSL research and lecture on.

  • If you have too many rabbits in one place, there could possibly be a rabbit infestation.

  • If ABBA has two men and two women in the band, statistically speaking they must have all slept with each other.

  • If poverty were eradicated, we would all be rich.

  • Musicals are the best kind of film/theatre IF AND ONLY IF the music and acting is good.

  • If we pollute the planet and destroy all the ecosystems, eventually all humans will die or turn into frogs. Or ALTERNATIVELY an apocalypse will come (hopefully!) before then.

Some of these specific examples of logic and reasonability are not directly from Greek sources but are modern adoptations of the logic that Epicolypse invented, when he was only FIVE years old. Man, were they smart. Here in ‘Murica we have people going to college when they should be in retirement homes! Like John Walker, here, who recently graduated from Nebraska State Online University in his degree in mediation. He realized he wanted this degree when he was 55, and received the degree at the final age of 85. The mediation degree consists of “working to make situations better” through the use of both verbal and physical mediation.

Now, we at VSL are not necessarily against practical degrees, but we aren’t sure whether this is a good consumption of resources. Some things just DON’T need to be learned through a university degree!

College degrees are so essential that Rome, New York recently opened a university that doubles as a hospice, for those of ages 90 and over. The problem I see is that it’s government funded, which puts a huge stress on the 18 year olds who have to pay 90,000 dollars a year, while the hospice university is 100% subsized. Now that’s what I call white privilege.

John Walker himself says: “I am so happy to have urned a degree, now I can sleep whole at night, and not have my cat wake me up by scratching at my door!”

So, although long --we are not all blessed with the lord’s blessing of Brevity-- this VSL post was here to inform you on plethoras and plethoras of items. A bit about us here at VSL: always providing opportunities for amelioration and thinking wisely in your area. Because going to a small, selective liberal arts school is how you become a good person. We are ¼ our way towards becoming just that (above), and therefore we can teach you and help you become that as well.

Peace on the Eastern front, there’s earth, wind, and fire here on earth today. Appreciate those elements when you get a chance, because who knows what will strike us when the horsemen come.

Love you babe!

King4u and ALWAYS4u, no matter where life may roll out!


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